Whose Job is it Anyway?

     Something that I have been realizing more and more recently is that no matter how hard I try, I will never be better at doing His job than He is. I mean, it’s His job. Right?

     When I find myself talking to someone about how I’m doing and what’s going on in my life, I often find myself coming to my senses that I need to stop trying to control my own life. Most of the time when I notice that I messed up, or fell, or made a terrible decision, it’s usually when I’m at the wheel. It’s funny like that. If God wanted us to go out into the world all by ourselves, we would have to. But that is not the God that we serve.

     One night a couple weeks ago, I found myself with this idea while sitting cross-legged on the floor of a friend’s dorm room. It was a Thursday night. A night after a long day. We all had long classes and homework, yet we went to the weekly large group worship night. We found ourselves singing along to worship songs and listening to a guest speaker. It was fun. As usual, a group of us walked down to the after party and hung out. It wasn’t too bad, we just had to make it through all the rain, and puddles, and dripping trees. When it was about 10 o’clock, I was invited to walk back to our dorm so I agreed. Looking back I have no idea why. It was dark. It was rainy. It was cold. It was everything that I didn’t want to deal with. I, for some reason, went for it anyway. Maybe it was because I was really tired or because I wanted to get to know people better, I’m not sure.

     Somehow I ended up in a room downstairs, just two floors away, sitting in an awkward circle. It wasn’t awkward in the fact that no one was talking, it was awkward in the fact that everyone was talking… just not to me. I was new and unfamiliar. Key word being was. The most that I knew about these people going in was that they were older than me; they knew what they are doing in life; they had this whole "college thing" figured out; and, they love Jesus. Pretty soon we were just talking about our week and everything that had happened. I was basically just what I needed, and I didn’t even know it.

     At one point in the middle someone asked me why I need God. At first I said something about because He is higher than all else and that I need him. A few people looked at me with a questioning look and then I went into a long ramble. Somewhere in the middle of my long ramble of words I threw out the fact that He is honestly way better at doing His job than any of us are at doing His job, and it stuck.

    But really, I can try as hard as I can (and spend my whole life trying) to make everything work out and fall into place, and I won’t get very far. I can only see what is right in front of me, and even then I don’t usually have the right perspective. It would be a waste of time and effort for me to sit here and say that I've never tried to run everything, because I have, but I have come to the slow realization that it doesn't work. It just doesn’t. No matter what way you word it or dress it up or feed it to someone, we are not God, and He is.

Proverbs 16:1-4

To humans belong the plans of the heart,
but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.
All a person’s ways seem pure to them,
but motives are weighed by the Lord.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and he will establish your plans.
The Lord works out everything to its proper end—

even the wicked for a day of disaster.

What’s in a Name?

            When you think about it, a lot goes into naming something. When your parents named you, they probably took time to decide what name to choose. Sometimes it’s a family name, other times a special meaning or connotation. Generally, there is a lot that goes into naming. I find it is common that even though there is a name given, other reasons determine what emotions we have toward it. Association, experiences, and other words that go with is are just a few reason that help determine how we feel about a name. 

            When you look up the word “sky”, you will find a definition similar to that of “space above the Earth where the moon, sun, clouds, and stars appear.” Pretty normal, right? But, when you pair it with two more words, the whole meaning is changed for hundreds of people. By adding the word “lodge” and “camp” everything is changed. When you look up the definition of “lodge,” it will probably say something along the lines of “a place that can be used for temporary shelter.” What about “camp”? A camp is a place that is “usually away from populous areas, where some tents and meek buildings (much like cabins) are used for housing or momentary housing.” I feel like there is a lot of truth in the literal meaning of these words, but when paired together there is just overall a lot more.

            Sky Lodge Christian Camp is a place that I, along with many others, have become familiar with. Although it has only been a few short years since I first went to camp, they have been some of the best years. When I say “some of the best years” I really do mean some of the best years. It’s the place that I have made some of my best memories, met some of the best people, made some of my best choices, wrote some of the best letters and developed some of the best relationships.

            I look back to myself as a 15-year-old girl whining because camp was “lame” and “stupid” because I didn't know anyone. Well, for the first 15 minutes it probably was lame. Then I talked to somebody or even two somebodies. It’s at camp that I have made some of my best friends, and I wouldn’t trade that for much of anything. If I hadn't just toughed it out and gone, I would be missing out on so much.

            For me, camp is much more than just a temporary home; it’s a permanent resting place. Some of you may think “Oh, that makes sense…. Camp. Rest. I get it.” I’m not talking about that kind of rest. When at camp I work some of the hardest days, endure some of the driest heat, and live some of the most exhausting days. It’s not rest for my body that I’m looking for at camp when I’m there. I’m looking for the rest of my soul.

            It’s not nearly the same thing (although you can find that resting helps you), because I have been back from just 43 hours at camp and I am so extremely tired. The funny thing about that? I am at peace even when I know that I don’t have everything figured out. It’s okay. It's okay that I don't know everything, He does. 

Psalm 116:7   “Return to your rest, my soul.For the LORD has been good to you.”

What Does That Even Mean?

Why "Living Life on The Edge"?

Often times I find myself questioning what it really means to "live life on the edge." Does it mean that you have to try to do stupid stunts to prove something? No, but it could. Does it mean that you have to see how many times you can say "YOLO" while avoiding the cops? No, but it happens a lot anyway. Does it mean that you have actually try something that you never thought that you would do? For me, yes.

I feel as if living live on the edge isn't something that means trying to be stupid and careless. Living life on the edge for me means going out in life and trying new things. This even means going outside of my comfort zone in order to get the experience of just trying something. This is usually hard, and uneasy, and most of the time not what I want to do, but I do it anyway. 

Living life on the edge doesn't have to be dangerous, just wholehearted. This is what this blog is about. 

Psalm 119:10 talks about seeking with all of your heart, and that's how I intend to live my life.

I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.

Why start a blog?

When I told some friends that I was starting a blog, they laughed a little and then asked why. My response consisted of two words: why not? I like writing, I have a lot of thoughts, and I like keeping track of life and what is changing; that sounds like plenty of reasons for me.