It's Up For the Sacrifice

     As you may be able to tell, this is the first post that I have done since the end of October. There is a reason for this, as I did not simply just "forget." Time allows for thinking, at least that is the case for me. In the past two weeks I have learned a lot about something that I guess I had never put too much thought into before: sacrificial love. It's a phrase that, in our community, is used quite often because we are all so diverse.

     Where I live, there are more guys than girls. This make sense since this is an engineering school, so it's not really a big deal. But, because we want to take the opportunities that we have to grow closer and include everyone, it means that we do a lot of things that may be out of someone's comfort zone at some point; they're sacrifices. Over the course of the past few weeks we have played board games, learned card tricks, played euchre, built forts, made friendship bracelets, went to a "geeky" card store, and even watched a variety of movies (some being action-packed, some being comedies, and even The Titanic).

     I'm sure that not all the guys wanted to spend a Saturday night sitting in a room watching a three hour and fifteen minute movie about a boat sinking and people losing their lives, but they did it because some of the girls wanted to see it. The same thing could be said about the day that we took a trip to town to buy some cards for a game that I didn't even know that people even played. It's something that I would have never done by myself, but I wouldn't trade those moments for anything else.

     It seems to me that there are a lot of things in life that appeal to one person and not others and that is why most things are considered meaningless. Well, the activities themselves are meaningless, but who you do them with and the time spent doing them is not. I would probably watch very few movies, play very few games, and go to very few stores if it wasn't for the people that I go through my days with. Especially not the sci-fi movies, the card games that require too much thought, and the stores that honestly intimidate me walking in.

    It is very clear throughout the scriptures that we are not to be alone. We are to build each other up and love each other in a way that shows His love, and I feel like Jesus had to do things that he probably wouldn't have done if it wasn't for the love behind it.

     So it looks like the rest of this year and hopefully longer I am going to do things not just for me, but also for others. It's not even hard or a "burden" to do so, it's actually fun and a good learning experience. It even helps bring people together for the things that really matter, like love and laughter and God. 

Hebrews 10:24-25- And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching

     Life is better when you go through it together: Stand in the sun together. Chill in the shade together. Stand in the rain together. Jump in the puddles together. Stand in the snow together. Warm up by a heater together. 

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

      It's only October, but already in the past week there has already been some snow. Most people like snow and get really excited when the first snow falls, but have you ever taken the time to think about those flakes that fall from the sky? Snowflakes. They're those little pieces of cold, fluffy, frozen water falling from the sky. It's kind of cool and all, snow. It isn't rain, or sleet, or freezing rain, or anything else. It's just snow.

Each piece of snow was formed individually, no two are alike. 

All snow falls from its highly placed position. 

Every flake of snow is delicate. If you step on it, its purpose and make-up changed. 

Snowflakes do not usually travel by themselves. Rarely, if ever, do you only see just a single snowflake. It usually tends to fall in the hundreds and thousands and so forth. It clumps together and falls as one. 

Snowflakes are cold and have an edge to them, but in the end they usually melt. 

     Now, you're probably wondering why I just listed off some qualities and facts of snowflakes, right? Well, look back up and instead of thinking that the facts are about snow, think that they are about people. They all work. 

Each [person] was formed individually, no two are alike.

All [people] fall from its highly placed position. 

Every [person] is delicate. If you step on it, its purpose and make-up changed. 

[People] do not usually travel by themselves. Rarely, if ever, do you only see just a single snowflake. It usually tends to fall in the hundreds and thousands and so forth. It clumps together and falls as one. 

[People] are cold and have an edge to them, but in the end they usually melt. 

      Wow, right? I feel like all of these can be taken in different ways, so I'll explain a little deeper.

Each person/piece of snow was formed individually, no two are alike.

    This one is probably pretty straight forward. No two snowflakes are exactly the same, nor are two people. Not even identical twins are exactly the same. Yes, appearance and even DNA can be the same, but they are not the same people and they are individuals. Therefore, because each person and each snowflake is formed individually, people are like snowflakes in this essence. 

All people/snow fall(s) from its highly placed position. 
     This is not as literal as the previous one. Snow literally does fall from its highly placed position up in the clouds while we, as humans, fall from a different highly place position. We are sons and daughters of the King of Kings, and although there is no way we can "un-be" His children, we can mess up. Before we were even thought of we were loved and there is no way to undo that. It's that powerful. No matter how much we mess up, or how far we fall down from where He put us, we are His.

Every person/snowflake is delicate. If you step on it, its purpose and make-up changed. 
     Most of us have heard that snowflakes are delicate, and many of us have tried to capture one. How well does that work? It really doesn't and that is because snowflakes are delicate, just like people. If you crush them they are changed. For snow it's pretty simple, don't physically crush them. But, for people it's different. We are changed by physical, mental, and spiritual changes. All of these things make is who we are.

People/snowflakes do not usually travel by themselves. Rarely, if ever, do you only see just a single snowflake. It usually tends to fall in the hundreds and thousands and so forth. It clumps together and falls as one. 
     We are not meant to be alone. We rarely see someone completely alone, seeing as in order to see them we are there too. We are meant to serve God and love one another, and it would be pretty hard to love one another if we had never met another person.
We tend to help each other out. We pick each other up, we work together, and we fall together. It's just what we do.

People/snowflakes are cold and have an edge to them, but in the end they usually melt. 

     This is not something that is a fact, as much as it is an opinion. People, though kind and caring, can be cold. We put up a wall that blocks who we really are from the world and we tend to keep it to ourselves, thereby making us seem like we are cold. Along with making us seem cold, it makes us seem like we are on edge. But, like snow, most people "melt" in the end. This being said, the right conditions have to be there. Snow doesn't melt if it's 10º outside. 

     When I picture snow, I see it as clean and white. When I see it fall from the sky it has a shimmer in the way that dances from left to right. When I see snow, I can picture how much we can be compared to snow.
We can be made as white as snow.
As Christians we are to be the light of the world (Matthew 5:14-16), and if something as little as snow can reflect light, why can't we?
Snow even dances from right to left as falling down from the clouds to the earth. What do we dance for?

     Sometimes we just need to take the time to look at all that He has created. Snowflakes are a lot more similar to people then I had previously thought. But I guess in some ways, maybe we are like God's snowflakes

Job 37:14 "Listen to this, Job; stop and consider God's wonders."

People, People Everywhere.....

     People. Now that's a fun topic.

     How about loving people? That's just as much fun. 

     I, personally, am picky about people. Don't get me wrong, I really like people in general, but I can only handle so much "people time." It's not because I don't like people, that's not it at all, it's that there are so many people that it is overwhelming.

     People are a commitment. And by commitment, I mean a huge commitment. I would rather get to know a few people and keep them around and talk to them, than to meet a whole group of people and only see them once or twice in the future. It's just a personal opinion and some people don't get it.

     This, however, does not mean that I am not willing to show love to those that I don't know. If this is how the world worked then there would be a lot more hurting people then there already are, and there are already too many. We are made to love and to share our love and it is a very apparent message throughout the scriptures. Love is not something that we, as humans, have created ourselves. Yes we have shifted and twisted what we view love as, but the true meaning still remains. 

     In 1 John 4, starting in verse seven and continuing to the end of the chapter in verse 21 it is made very clear that God is love and that we should love one another with His love. This doesn't mean that you have to reach out and sing a happy song to everyone that you meet, but a little kindness and respect goes a long way. The choice is yours and it's up to you on whether or not you want to extend the love that has been extended to you, to someone else. 

     

     This is not saying that the love was extended to you and not them, but a lot of people learn through trial and error and from their own mistakes. It is generally known that God loves us, but what does that mean if we are not willing to show the love? Sometimes it shows that those people are not worth it, or maybe even that this real love that I am talk of, doesn't exist. It's a losing situation then. 

     Maybe this is why I tend to limit the amount of people that I am usually with. I would never want to leave an impression upon anyone, stranger or not, that they were not worth my love. No matter what has been done, if He loves you, then you are worth it. Not only just for His love, but for everyone's including my own.

      Over the course of the last few months I have realized more and more about who I am as a person. This is a big deal not only because I thought that I knew who I was, but also because most days I feel like five people is considered a lot of people. My whole perspective has slowly been changed. Who knew that it would be so much fun to be nice to people? I clearly didn't otherwise I would have started sooner. 

     Too often we feel like if we haven't meet or don't know someone, we can't love them. What a lie! If this was the case, then because we were not actually born when Jesus walked the earth there would be no way that He could love us. I don't believe that one bit! Love is just a state of affection or devotion toward someone. It really can be as simple as holding a door for someone or stopping to talk to someone that looks like they need someone to talk to. 

"There is no sacrifice greater than that of time in the eyes of love."

1 John 4:7 

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 

The Past: Shaping, Sharing and Learning

"Your past does not determine who you are today. Your past prepares you for who you are to become tomorrow" 

     I'm not sure where it was that I heard this, so I can't even give proper credit to whoever said it. However, I feel that this is very true and applicable in all of our lives. How often do we find ourselves dwelling on the past in attempts to prove that we are unworthy of what we have received in the present or even wondering how we ended up where we are? I hear it every week and practically every day. For some reason we, as humans, camp out in our past because we think that that is what defines who we are. Could we ever be more wrong?

    That past is usually defined as being a place in time that has gone by or "passed." However, we generally leave out the other part of the definition: no longer existing. Our past is only there in what we leave for the future and in our memories. It is there to remind us of who we once were and are no longer. It serves a purpose in shaping who we are now, not to hold us back from who we are becoming.

   Now, I'm not the kind of person who purposefully sets out to make new friends. It's one of those "I'm good where I am, with the people I'm with and I don't need to change it" kind of things. This is one of the things that I didn't necessarily want to change is college, I just wanted to work on it. This meant that instead of reserving myself as much as I usually would, I tried to be more open. Depending on the day, I'd say that I'm doing pretty well with this. This has been both an experiment of whether I can do this and a learning experience of how to deal with people. In this, I have met some people that I am comfortable enough to consider friends that I hope to keep far into the future. One night I was up late in a room with my friend when we started sharing stories. You see, I'm the kind of person who enjoys stories and learns from them.  

   Somewhere in the middle of high school stories and camp stories, we actually started sharing genuine stories. These weren't any old stories, these were stories of our past. My first thought was "why am I in this room talking about all my failures when I could just be talking about all my achievements?" It would have made my life sound flawless and picture-perfect, but that's not what my past is. My past, like so many others, is broken and messy and imperfect. I don't want to make it out to be anything that it isn't. 

     Like I mentioned before, many (many) people have imperfect and broken pasts. If not physically broken, they are probably mentally or spiritually broken. There are a couple problems with this:

1- Every broken person thinks that they are the only one. 

This is a trap. Don't give in! The joy about talking to other people about the past is that you can learn. You can learn of what they did, you can learn what not to do, and you can learn how to do better next time. It's really a great thing if you think about it. Imagine a world where no one shared any of their failures or mistakes with inventions or technology. There would so many repeats and duplicates that we wouldn't know what to do! Why don't we do that with our lives? It would make it easier to see what works and what doesn't, wouldn't it?

2- We cannot fix ourselves. 

I could tell you that you can, but that would be lying and I try to refrain from that. Speaking from experience, I can say that you can try as much as you want, and still not be able to patch up your own problems. The good news is that you don't have to do it by yourself!

     We serve a God that loves us despite all of our flaws. He already knows what we have seen and dealt with. He knows. The problem comes when we, as mere imperfect humans, think that we can handle everything by ourselves. It's kind of funny when you think about it: We, as humans, think that we can handle everything on our own. No wonder why we fall and mess up!

     In no way am I saying that I have this all figured out, I don't really think that I will ever have it 100% down. What I am saying is that I am slowly learning from my mistakes, kind of like I'm learning to talk to people. It's humorous how things start to come together..... 

    

Hebrews 4:15

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weakness, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 

Time is Time, and a Precious Thing at That

What's the big deal with time?

     Have you ever just taken the time to realize just how amazing time is? I mean, time is one thing in this world that never changes. No matter how hard you try, time will not be altered by anything that we do. Sure, you can set the clock backwards to make the time seem longer but in reality, it is still the same amount of time. It took a wonderful Creator to create such a thing.

     When we are younger a whole year seems to take forever to go around, but once you grow a few years older you realize that time actually goes pretty fast.  I remember a time back in grade school when I literally cried on the last day of school not because I would miss school or my teachers, but because the way that I viewed it, fall was going to take an eternity to arrive. Less than three months later, my “eternity” had arrived.

     It isn’t just the fact that my views have changed, it is also the fact that I have now lived longer. I guess what I’m saying is that in the life of a seven-year-old, three months is over three percent of their life. Once you go through a few more years, say when you 17, three months is just over one percent of your life. The same amount of time is now not as “long” of time in your life as it once was.

     I can honestly say that, through the years, when someone said to “be careful because time flies” I didn’t believe them. I guess the first time that I realized this was this last summer; the summer of 2013. Looking back, it surprises me that I didn’t realize it sooner. Not during my Junior Prom or when I started Senior year or even when I was writing my farewell speech. What surprises me the most is that I didn’t even realize it after I graduated—I graduated.

What changed?

     It was this summer, around the second week in August, that I realized that I had been at camp for ten weeks. It felt like maybe four or at the most, six. There was no way that I had actually been gone for ten weeks! Well, there was a way; it was called “growing up.” I guess that at the time I just pushed it off as a “camp thing” and got over the fact that time flew.

     This last week I was sitting in the Student Center on campus when I realized that I had just been sitting in the same exact spot the week prior. When I realized this I literally thought “Wait. Was that last week or was that just a few minutes ago and my memory is going?” The answer is: No. My memory is not going. I just never took the time to think about time.

     Whether we decide to sit in our house all day or go and dance in the puddles that life has given us, time will continue to go. That’s its job. It doesn’t care if we whine and pout and tell it not to go too fast. It doesn’t care, it isn’t alive for you. Time is there every day. Every nap you take, every hour you sleep, every moment you share with your friends and every time you laugh, time is rolling.

What's left to do?

     It’s all up to you on how you spend your time. I can hear it now: “when I was younger, I had to listen to my parents and do what my parents told me to do.” Yes, you did. That was around 18 years of your life, but look at all that is ahead. After you’re out, it is an open opportunity to go out and live your life. Well live it, and live it to the fullest potential possible. Go out and do crazy things with friends, go on a road trip with your family, or finish that “bucket list” you started years ago!

     No matter what you do, do it whole heartedly. Approach it head on and don’t stop until you’re done with what you set out to accomplish. It’s your life, make the most out of what you were given. Maybe even help someone else out on the way.

Colossians 4:5

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most out of every opportunity.

Whose Job is it Anyway?

     Something that I have been realizing more and more recently is that no matter how hard I try, I will never be better at doing His job than He is. I mean, it’s His job. Right?

     When I find myself talking to someone about how I’m doing and what’s going on in my life, I often find myself coming to my senses that I need to stop trying to control my own life. Most of the time when I notice that I messed up, or fell, or made a terrible decision, it’s usually when I’m at the wheel. It’s funny like that. If God wanted us to go out into the world all by ourselves, we would have to. But that is not the God that we serve.

     One night a couple weeks ago, I found myself with this idea while sitting cross-legged on the floor of a friend’s dorm room. It was a Thursday night. A night after a long day. We all had long classes and homework, yet we went to the weekly large group worship night. We found ourselves singing along to worship songs and listening to a guest speaker. It was fun. As usual, a group of us walked down to the after party and hung out. It wasn’t too bad, we just had to make it through all the rain, and puddles, and dripping trees. When it was about 10 o’clock, I was invited to walk back to our dorm so I agreed. Looking back I have no idea why. It was dark. It was rainy. It was cold. It was everything that I didn’t want to deal with. I, for some reason, went for it anyway. Maybe it was because I was really tired or because I wanted to get to know people better, I’m not sure.

     Somehow I ended up in a room downstairs, just two floors away, sitting in an awkward circle. It wasn’t awkward in the fact that no one was talking, it was awkward in the fact that everyone was talking… just not to me. I was new and unfamiliar. Key word being was. The most that I knew about these people going in was that they were older than me; they knew what they are doing in life; they had this whole "college thing" figured out; and, they love Jesus. Pretty soon we were just talking about our week and everything that had happened. I was basically just what I needed, and I didn’t even know it.

     At one point in the middle someone asked me why I need God. At first I said something about because He is higher than all else and that I need him. A few people looked at me with a questioning look and then I went into a long ramble. Somewhere in the middle of my long ramble of words I threw out the fact that He is honestly way better at doing His job than any of us are at doing His job, and it stuck.

    But really, I can try as hard as I can (and spend my whole life trying) to make everything work out and fall into place, and I won’t get very far. I can only see what is right in front of me, and even then I don’t usually have the right perspective. It would be a waste of time and effort for me to sit here and say that I've never tried to run everything, because I have, but I have come to the slow realization that it doesn't work. It just doesn’t. No matter what way you word it or dress it up or feed it to someone, we are not God, and He is.

Proverbs 16:1-4

To humans belong the plans of the heart,
but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.
All a person’s ways seem pure to them,
but motives are weighed by the Lord.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and he will establish your plans.
The Lord works out everything to its proper end—

even the wicked for a day of disaster.

What’s in a Name?

            When you think about it, a lot goes into naming something. When your parents named you, they probably took time to decide what name to choose. Sometimes it’s a family name, other times a special meaning or connotation. Generally, there is a lot that goes into naming. I find it is common that even though there is a name given, other reasons determine what emotions we have toward it. Association, experiences, and other words that go with is are just a few reason that help determine how we feel about a name. 

            When you look up the word “sky”, you will find a definition similar to that of “space above the Earth where the moon, sun, clouds, and stars appear.” Pretty normal, right? But, when you pair it with two more words, the whole meaning is changed for hundreds of people. By adding the word “lodge” and “camp” everything is changed. When you look up the definition of “lodge,” it will probably say something along the lines of “a place that can be used for temporary shelter.” What about “camp”? A camp is a place that is “usually away from populous areas, where some tents and meek buildings (much like cabins) are used for housing or momentary housing.” I feel like there is a lot of truth in the literal meaning of these words, but when paired together there is just overall a lot more.

            Sky Lodge Christian Camp is a place that I, along with many others, have become familiar with. Although it has only been a few short years since I first went to camp, they have been some of the best years. When I say “some of the best years” I really do mean some of the best years. It’s the place that I have made some of my best memories, met some of the best people, made some of my best choices, wrote some of the best letters and developed some of the best relationships.

            I look back to myself as a 15-year-old girl whining because camp was “lame” and “stupid” because I didn't know anyone. Well, for the first 15 minutes it probably was lame. Then I talked to somebody or even two somebodies. It’s at camp that I have made some of my best friends, and I wouldn’t trade that for much of anything. If I hadn't just toughed it out and gone, I would be missing out on so much.

            For me, camp is much more than just a temporary home; it’s a permanent resting place. Some of you may think “Oh, that makes sense…. Camp. Rest. I get it.” I’m not talking about that kind of rest. When at camp I work some of the hardest days, endure some of the driest heat, and live some of the most exhausting days. It’s not rest for my body that I’m looking for at camp when I’m there. I’m looking for the rest of my soul.

            It’s not nearly the same thing (although you can find that resting helps you), because I have been back from just 43 hours at camp and I am so extremely tired. The funny thing about that? I am at peace even when I know that I don’t have everything figured out. It’s okay. It's okay that I don't know everything, He does. 

Psalm 116:7   “Return to your rest, my soul.For the LORD has been good to you.”

What Does That Even Mean?

Why "Living Life on The Edge"?

Often times I find myself questioning what it really means to "live life on the edge." Does it mean that you have to try to do stupid stunts to prove something? No, but it could. Does it mean that you have to see how many times you can say "YOLO" while avoiding the cops? No, but it happens a lot anyway. Does it mean that you have actually try something that you never thought that you would do? For me, yes.

I feel as if living live on the edge isn't something that means trying to be stupid and careless. Living life on the edge for me means going out in life and trying new things. This even means going outside of my comfort zone in order to get the experience of just trying something. This is usually hard, and uneasy, and most of the time not what I want to do, but I do it anyway. 

Living life on the edge doesn't have to be dangerous, just wholehearted. This is what this blog is about. 

Psalm 119:10 talks about seeking with all of your heart, and that's how I intend to live my life.

I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.

Why start a blog?

When I told some friends that I was starting a blog, they laughed a little and then asked why. My response consisted of two words: why not? I like writing, I have a lot of thoughts, and I like keeping track of life and what is changing; that sounds like plenty of reasons for me.